Chez Moi

Maybe you can guess my top activity of the moment from the title. Go on, take a guess. A quick glance across my recent posts and this seems to be a recurring theme. A fact that seems to have occurred to the jobless bots out there as ‘breast’ seems to have replaced ‘deepa venkat’ and ‘pamela anderson’ as the top reasons people stumble on to this blog. Any day now, I might even get my own troll!

Anyhoo, the feeding saga continues. As with most things we have good days and bad nights. Am getting used to being bleary eyed all day long and keep hoping that the panda eyed look will be declared The look, this autumn.

Whilst I was fretting and fuming about the drama surrounding the whole feeding issue, I got some super advice from a midwife and my health visitor. As they spoke much sense, I have to chronicle it here for posterity - for those mums waging a war with it as well as for my own doped up self.

So here they are - things you did not know about breastfeeding:

• You lactate better at night. Five words I never thought would issue from my fingers - or keyboard, take your pick. But there you go. Apparently you do. Which is why it, even if your little bundle of terror wakes you up for the fifth time in three hours, it makes sense to go with the flow as guess what, the flow will continue to flow. (Can you guess I am sleep deprived?)
• Another advantage of b/feeding at night is you secrete a sleepy hormone that makes it easy (Well, ish!) for you to go back to sleep after the deed is done. Which ain’t possible after mixing up formula, so they tell us. But what is the fun in going off to sleep easy with or without the aid of sleepy hormones only to wake up in thirty minutes, you ask. Good q.
• For all of you hapless mums tormented by Evil Mother-in-laws who nag you about not producing enough milk to feed half the city - worry not. The answer is right in you. Drink copious amounts of fluids as without that, you won’t make enough ‘foremilk’, the watery milk that comes first - this quenches the baby’s thirst and makes them weeing and pooing a’plenty. Joy! Next, eat five smaller meals if you cannot face three square ones. Do not skip breakfast ever! Cos no food for mum = no milk for baby. Capice? Third, and sock this to the outlaws, you need plenty of rest to keep churning out the milk - else all the calories you put in you will burn and there won’t be any fatty milk for the little one. So grab some shut eye, why don’t you?
• If your infant is wailing non-stop, check the top three steps listed above - did you drink enough water? eat loads? didn’t hurry about the place? If the answer to any of the question is no, smack yourself silly and remedy the situ pronto.
• Last but def not the least, repeat this to yourself “this too shall pass”. If the sight of hubby snoring away when you are stuck with the bubba chewing your tits off, then take wise Dipali’s suggestion and jab him with the nappy pin. Or aim a hefty kick at his backside (mentally!) and ask him to burp the baby. Babies can smell your milk (duh!) and keep asking for more even when their tummies are full. Get the dad to burp the baby and kill two birds with one stone.