Chez Moi

 
Fresh out of college, I used to work for a local, city-based portal as a content writer and then later, Web Content Manager. In that guise, I met many interesting characters, attended many functions and generally led an interesting life. But of all the people I met, none affected me more than Vandana and Vaishnavi, founders of women’s charity organisation, Banyan.

I wasn’t a trained journalist so had none of the grit or the backbone needed to tough it out in search of assignments. All I had was a head full of ideas - ideas on what was great and good about my city that I could showcase on my website. Through a teacher at college, who was a good friend of Vandana, I heard of Banyan and was really impressed to learn about two women, who, in the prime of their life, threw away a regular lifestyle and immersed themselves in caring after mentally challenged women.

It sounded like a plot of a movie - too fantastic to be true. Clueless about what to expect, I asked for an appointment to visit the place to write about it. That visit and the women I saw, changed me and I honestly feel, I grew up in that space of two hours I spent at Banyan. I remember crying bitterly on my way back to work. Seeing those women, in their bedraggled state, not knowing what was happening to themselves or where they were, affected me like nothing had.

Though it has been years since I met them and the women and their organisation have come a long way since, I constantly think of them and their dedication to their cause. I cannot think of two better examples of women to salute, on International Women’s Day.

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Ahhh those good ol’ days at Ethi, when getting on a 11-series bus meant you’d get groped for sure. Full frontal assault or a guy poking his hard on into your ass through layers of clothing - take your pick. On one memorable occasion, a kind soul decided to take a lesson in Biology and flash us his gonads. Shocked my non-stop-jabber mate into Mute mode for a whole day - something of a record.

What is it with guys and these sort of animal behaviour? Is it repressed sex, as some bright soul stated on a blog somewhere? They are not getting any and as self service isn’t quite as fulfilling, they decide to let themselves loose on the girls out there - is that it? I do not know the reasoning behind this, if at all there’s any, and chances are the red blooded males that get into the act are clueless as to what they are trying to achieve either.

What do they aim for? A grope? A feel? Ok now you’ve felt a girl up, got a nice buzz going - now what? Jump her? Rape her and get it off your system? What?

As far as I know, there’s no point in even going to the cops as they operate under the typical sentiment of ‘well, you are dressed in such a way I know you have boobs and other female apparatus, so you must’ve asked for it!’ There was even this case of some poor girl in Mumbai getting raped in the police station. So, where do we go from here?

This kind of behaviour is on the rise apparently - guys all over the country have decided the women are easy pickings and they can just cop a feel or worse any time of day or night. Why the hell will it stop, unless something happens to make them stop? These lecherous bastards have been doing it for years and as nothing has been done to stop them, they see no reason to stop at the juvenile level and are just graduating. And why ever not? What is there for them to fear?

I feel that when a day has come when a person has to rethink about indulging in the simplest of pleasures like going to the beach or for a solitary walk or any of the other innocent joys of life, then the time has come for a shake-down. Time for the fat cats in the so-called government to actually do the job they were ‘elected’ for - govern the bloody place and make sure there’s some sort of order. What kind of a country are they running where accompanied women can’t even welcome in the New Year without getting raped in the process?

Who was it that said “until the day a woman can go for a walk at midnight and return safe, we haven’t got true freedom”? Looks like we aren’t free yet.

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Cos my pal Ams gave me this:

That so rocks or what? Gosh Ams, you are such a star! Thanks a bunch babes *mwah*

So, am I to pass this on to other deserving folk eh? Right. How am I to do that when you go and pass it on to six peeps, thereby taking my three as well? *mutter*

Ok, I shall cheat a bit and start with Apu - other than being one of my oldest, real world pal, this girl sure knows what she’s talking about, virtually. So, here’s to you, girlie - in both the real and virtual sense of it.

Next, I shall give it to one of my favourite gal bloggers (other than you, Ams! ) Premalatha. This is one gutsy lady and she sure deserves the tag.

My third pick is my other fave mummy blogger, Tharini. She is such a heartwarmingly steady and calm soul, despite having two kids under five that I am forever in awe of her.

My fourth and fifth picks are my two favourite food bloggers - Nandita of Saffron Trail and Indira of Mahanandi. Their blogs are a foodie’s dream and if I can do a J K Rowling and bring the pix of their food to life, I will die a happy and sated death.

How can I compile a list of rocking gal bloggers and leave you out, Ams? So, right back at ya!

(This post is in response to Amrita Rajan’s post “I Am A Feminist (Blogger Gets Death Threats)”

Last year, when my dad learnt of my latest love, blogging, the first question he asked me was: are you a feminist? This seemed rather strange, coming from pater and I went ‘I dunno, maybe’ shrug shrug. To which, he replied ‘well, you either are or you’re not.’

I spent a lot of time thinking about it. Rather like Ams, my initial image of a feminist was a bra burning, unshaved armpitted woman and (even though I did not frequent beauty salons frequently!) I did not think I was one. Typically, I Googled ‘feminism’ and felt I agreed with most of what Wikipedia states a feminist ought to be. I was rather surprised to note that I am a feminist. But since that day when the bulb burned brightly inside my head, I have felt rather comfortable and even proud of being one. Like the Mad Momma stated in one of her posts, feminism has made it easy for me to live my life my way. Though I am forever haranguing S about a lot of his and his family’s beliefs, it is the concept of feminism that has made it possible for me to even think so.

Though to a lot of my fellow Desicritics, feminism is an ugly word and a feminist is generally considered on par with the seven plagues of Egypt, to most of us women (and to the rational men out there), feminism is a genuinely fantastic concept.

Which is why, in this day and age, I was shocked to learn of Kathy Sierra. Once again, it was thanks to Am’s post on the topic that brought this to my attention. Like her, I didn’t think of myself as a feminist but once I realised I was, it was a good feeling. I am sure Kathy did not set out to be an X-Woman type of feminist, burning bridges hither and wrecking havoc thither. Nor was she planning on doing a Lady Godiva, to bring the idea home to the masses. She is just a blogger like most of us, blogging away about things she felt strongly about. For her troubles, she has been receiving death threats.

Death threats! The whole phrase sounds absolutely crazy to me. Which regular person gets death threats? They are for the likes of Saddam Hussein, Dubya or other assorted loons. They are not for average Jo Bloggers like us! And who gets off sending bloggers crappy stuff like these anyway?

Lord knows I’ve moaned long and hard about the pain the Von SIFfers of DC are, with their irritating habit of blaming everything from war, famine and pestilence on this scrounge of feminism but even they don’t stoop to such levels. I think it takes a special sort of wacko to launch this sort of attacks on another person. Worse if the criteria behind the choice of victim is that they should have boobs.

I blog about the most inane things in my life - what I made for lunch, what movies I saw, even about the time I took a toss coming fast down the stairs. I also blog about the most important aspect of my life - my son. I am now horrified at what sort of world I have thrust him into. I am sure he is going on blithely, betting on mummy to keep him safe and sound, whilst I am putting his pictures and stories of his antics on the blogosphere. The same joint that now is inhabited by these sick people. What the hell have I done?

Poor Kathy is now reported to be too petrified to even leave her home. How awful! What is her crime here? Her blog is about stuff like mind mapping and crash course in learning theory, for fuck’s sake! What is so threatening about that? Why the hell should that prompt the enterprising netizens to drop in some death threats?

What sort of twisted world are we barrelling into? Whatever next? My mind boggles!

(To answer your question, Ams - yes, I am a feminist and am proud to be one.)

I heard about the Blank Noise Project last year and was real impressed with the idea. The concept of the world’s bloggers getting together to say NO to bullying, eve teasing and other assorted perils that affects an average Indian woman on a regular basis struck a chord deep within me. Which is why, I decided to voice my support of the project this year.

This year’s topic is “When did you become an Action Hero?” My answer is Right now, this very minute, when I chose to voice my views on this out loud. Too often, we tend to hide these things in the innermost recesses of our mind and never let them see the light of day, for fear of ridicule or the ’shame’ that might befall us. But the blogosphere has given me the courage and the space to air my old grievances out, so that I can move on. And by speaking out, inspire others like me, who have lived through experiences far worse but haven’t yet achieved any closure as they are yet to open that Pandora’s box.

So I say, on this day, let us speak out. Let out all those inner feelings of shame and anger that have lived within us all these years, while we silently sat through the jeers, the taunts and the teasings of the bullys that abound. Voice out our feelings and let us recognise that we are all heroes for, having suffered the ignominy of the eve teasings and the like, we did not let it get to us and are talking it out this day, thereby helping others who have suffered a similar fate.

We are the Action Heroes - every single one of us. And this March 8, let us take action by talking it out and saying out loud ‘you will not bully me anymore; you will not scare me rigid with your taunts.’

Read my post on my experiences here.