Chez Moi

Today’s Val’s day - Feb 14 - yipeee! Cue hearts and cheesy music. Oh and red balloons, red roses, red chocs and anything else in red you can think of. Blech.

All this ‘lurve’ floating around is making my tummy turn (and no it ain’t cos I am pregnant!). What a load of palaver over a single day. I tell you who ends up happiest on this day - Hallmark’s. And other like minded people. Like M&S, Interflora, Le Senza, Clintons and the guy on A127 who’s selling roses from a bucket.

So when did this healthy disregard for love’s most venerated day start? Well, roughly around the time I entered college, I should think. Dang opposite my college building (Ethiraj College, if you wanna know) there used to be this hugely popular Archies Gallery. As it was air-conditioned, I used to meet my mates there and generally timepass till zero hour. But come January, the place will be full if idiots. Idiots, nitwits and nutters who should have never been released from the asylum.

Soon after people had finished shouting themselves hoarse ‘Happy New Year’, the chaps at Archies used to dust the red, glittery hearts and teddies and stuff the store silly with them and play Richard Marx and other cheesy ballads 24/7. And the nincompoops from my college and elsewhere in the 5 mile radius (but chiefly my college), used to wander about the joint in slow-mo, mouthing the words from the Cheesy Song of the Hour, with a goofy look on their faces. As the D-day neared, the number of such ninnies would dramatically multiply, till, on the day before, it will look like a scene from The Inmates Have Taken Over The Loony Bin.

Three years of this has seared the images into my brain and even after a decade, I am unable to walk into any card shop after New Year and not gag at the sea of hearts and moon-faced teddies. Hubby S, though not half the cynic that I am, can never cheese it up on Val’s day, thanks to (literally!) his lack of memory. When we were dating, he had to be prodded by well meaning friends to get a last minute card or chocolates.

Nowadays, I just see it as one more day I am licensed to some bling. Being a non-romantic sort, he threw in the towel fairly early on in the marriage game and just used to ask me straight out what I wanted. And I just said what. He got it. I generally remembered to wear it roughly around my birthday and all was well.

But then, I have heard some serious gasps of horror when I had narrated our careless attitude to this Holy Day and refusal to worship at the altar of St Valentine. I have even heard of some ultimate cases who choose THIS day as THE day to get married. That, as a concept, just blows me away. I mean, your wedding day is special cos it is YOUR wedding day, right? Isn’t that reason enough? Why would you want to link your lot to a marketing icon?

Oh well. Whatever floats your boat, hon. To all the believers, many happies and all that. To all the sane ones, may the Force be with you.