Chez Moi

Peter Roebuck’s brilliantly written article on Tendulkar the truest of three rare cricketing treasures - cannot put it better! Oh how I rue the day Sachin retires.

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It was like a scene from the Twilight Zone; flickering light, damp floors and women in various stages of undress. Within minutes, squeals rent the air as one by one we got stuck into our neoprene suits that seemed at least two sizes too small for each of us.

We were getting ready to go white water rafting. Outside, the weather was a nippy 10 degrees or so and the buffeting wind made it seem worse.

We must be crazy.  

As we walked out, I could see my family huddled over frothy mugs of hot chocolate, in a warm café and here I was, sat outside in the cold, along with few other loonies, getting ready to go out into the chilly waters of the River Nene, in a raft.

I must be insane.  

And to think this was an anniversary gift. Before thirty minutes were out, I would be inclined to believe my instructor, who was guffawing at a few of us lucky sods that got ‘gifted’ this experience and loudly wondered if the beloved in question wasn’t trying to do us in.

The fact that this was an artificially created environment, with none of the dangers of the natural, rock-filled rapids, didn’t instil much courage in me as I stood at the banks of the river, about to jump into the raft. The six of us who were carrying our raft to set it down on the water looked eerily like condemned men carrying their coffins before climbing helpfully into it.

Before we could chicken out though, we could hear the instructor screaming for us to get in. And like docile lambs to the slaughter, we did.

‘Bums on the blue strip’, shouted he. Said strip was on the outer edges of the raft and as such, was in the tipping in zone as far as we were concerned and time and again, one or the other of us would try to plonk ourselves as close to the middle as possible.

We all left shore and safety to the cries of ‘paddle forward’ and went towards the churning waters. The force of the water so close to the motor was such that the raft was wobbling something fierce and we all took turns in landing on the inside of the raft. Better inside than out, we thought to ourselves, even as the guide hollered at us to get paddling.

Down we went the narrow canals and you could literally feel the adrenaline rushing through your veins, with fear following just behind. Though this was an artificially constructed course and the water just came till my thighs, I am not what you’d call an expert swimmer and landing in the freezing, frothing mass didn’t actually suffuse my being with joy. Nonetheless, what a rush it was! We paddled furiously down the course and every time we sailed past the raised ramps and whooshed down, my gut and heart jostled into one another. Our families had all gathered along the grass verges, clicking away at us and we felt like a bunch of celebrities being chased by the paps.

‘Til we went past the highest ‘rapid’ and an overexcited girl sitting ahead pulled the swimmer’s line with gusto and tossed us into the drink.

One minute, we were grinning like a bunch of idiots, feeling supremely cool. Next minute, we were freezing our collective asses off, floating like jetsam in the ice cold waters of the Nene.

Whilst we were all trying to stop our teeth from chattering, our guide calmly brought the floating raft back to us and made us climb back into it. The other guides were heckling at us for being the first ones to get chucked in. After that, it was like a contest to see who could dive in first. Every time we would grab the raft, come coursing down and one or the other of the members of the four or five rafts would topple in and away we’d go.

Other than these random and wholly involuntary slides into the water, the sadists masquerading as our instructors came up with ingenuous ways and means of scaring the pants off us. When it was my turn to sit in the front row of the raft, our guide made us get as close to the churning waters as possible and bend forwards. Into the frothy water! Next, they made us jump in the deepest part of the water and float to the other end. Standing up was impossible as the bottom was slippery and I just kept getting washed away.  

For the finale, we did the ‘rafting rodeo’: two of us sat facing each other in the middle of the raft, not holding on to anything, while the guide took us as close to the churning mass as possible. Needless to say, in we went. But this time, we were in the thick of it so the current kept pulling us in. It took mere seconds for me to panic and I tried my best to kill the other guy who was valiantly trying to pull me out. The poor bloke had come on this cos his girlfriend had gifted this experience to him as a birthday gift and I almost killed him the day before!

After two hours of this, we finally made our way back to the shore. Our guide went around asking each of us if we would do this again. To our own surprise, every one of us shouted: ‘YES!’

[Guest post by Ranju]

For the kick-starter, Rowing is a sport which is highly catching up in the city of Madras, thanks to Madras Boat Club. A membership here costs 50k for a year where in you will have put in 300 hours of rowing. As an annual event, the MBC conducts a Corporate Regatta which is aimed to bring in more people into this sport. In this regard, my friend’s mom, Neela, who has a production house of her own called Madras Houz, decided that it would be great for us to participate. I have done some music – related work such as jingles, sound edits/recording for the company and hence qualify as a part time employee there. Apart from Neela, there are 2 other women working in the company, Uma and Sharmishta (my friend, Neela’s daughter). So the four of us decided that it would be fun and fitness combined for us if we signed up for this year’s Regatta. So that’s exactly what we did. Little did we realize how serious we were becoming about this event. Every morning, 5 hours past midnight saw us standing in Boat Club waiting for boats to be pulled out! Initially, it was quite hard, considering a) I NEED my sleep! b) The inviting(?) smell of the “koovam”. But as the sport got exciting, it didn’t matter. I got over my sleep issue and I just got used to the smell (Honestly, it isn’t that bad, considering they take special care of the course where we row!).

We practiced for 2 long months, almost everyday! The one hour in the morning with extensive coaching by the Club coaches did us real good. We got better by the week and we realized how strong we were becoming and how a sport changes the way you look at your day/week/life. We rowed as 4 on a boat and also took part as two entries (MH A & MH B) in the pairs contest, with two each on one boat.

As race day got closer, we started practicing in the evenings after work as well. Only then did we realize how excited we were about winning the race. Even though the buzz around the club was that 4 of us were going to be a tough team, we still wanted to make sure that we live upto that. There were many teams from all over the city, with 7 women’s only teams, from companies like Sify, Element K, Lion Bridge, JWT, O&M and of course, Madras Houz.

The heats began 3 days before the final race. A race is 750 meters and only two teams can race at a time. Each team had 2 entries for the pairs and we did too! So we got cracking down to the first race. This was easily the scariest part for me as Sharmishta and I were a team and we were to take on corporate oarspersons (not rowers ;)) who have had experience for about 5-6 years, in our FIRST EVER race!! Quite tense, we sat on the boat and till the second we heard the “Are you ready on the inside? Are you ready on the outside? Are you ready? ROW!” we didn’t realize the amount of energy in us! No more thinking after that and we took her home to the finish in style and won our first race!!! YAYY!

After that, there were 3 more races that we had to clear to reach the finals and we did so quite well! And guess who we met at the finals?? MH B! So us Madras Houz girls won both the first AND second place in our first ever Regatta! Result! Element K won the over all championship as they had a guys team as well. But we were more than delighted with our loot! Huge trophies are always a high! If only we were given a free membership to go with it Even the press paid us a visit on the day of the finals.

A little background on Regatta: this event has been held for the past 80 years and has been successful in churning out few on India’s best oarspersons. The excitement, the festive air, the spirit, the fights, the shrug offs, the pre and post dinners, the beer, which sure excites all the men and everything else that comes along with the package, it sure is a delight to be part of the entire extravaganza.

At the end of the day, all that effort did pay off and I loved the entire experience. Sometimes, even today, I almost stumble out of my sleep at 5 AM in the morning to look for my sneakers to hit the club, and before I realize I still have the Regatta – Hangover, I head back to sleep

What a bummer of a weekend for England. First, the rugby team loses to the S.Africans at the World Cup. Then Lewis Hamilton, who gave F1 so much mileage, slipped on the last rung  and failed to become the first rookie to win the Championship.

The only winner this weekend is ITV - earnings are rumoured to top £16 million! Not bad I say.

Oct 22, 2006, Sao Palo will remain forever etched in every Ferrari fan’s memory as the venue for one of the greatest F1 races ever. There was no shortage of drama and whoever had tuned in or turned up in person at the venue had more than their money’s worth.

I hate to admit but I was nervous as hell - Mikey had qualified at P 10 and Alonso was in P4. Though I wasn’t too worried about Mikey’s starting position, I was doubtful the upstart would oblige and crash his car. Anyways, I wanted Michael to win the race and the championship proper - not by default.

So I sat through ITV’s pre-race waffle and by the time the klaxon sounded, my nerves had got the better of me and I beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen, to watch the race from farther afield. I am really nervous about watching my favourite men play - Sachin always goes out on a duck if I sit cheering him on; on one memorable occasion, Mikey’s car blew up in the last few laps at Suzuka and that sod Hakkinen walked away with the championship.

On lap 10 of the Grand Prix though, my world crashed about my ears as Mikey’s car threw a wobbly and swerved all over the place. Moments later, we could see why - his right rear tyre had had a blowout, thanks to the debris left over from Rosberg’s car. Mikey drove like a demon with the punctured tyre to get back into the pits and get a new set. He rejoined the race at P19 and from then on, it was pure drama.

Once it was clear that there was no way Mikey could win either the championship or the race, he just stepped up a couple of gears and drove one of the best races of his career. He continually set up fastest lap times, overtook every car that came in his way and showed us what we are going to be missing in the years to come. He blistered down the tracks, made some brilliant moves overtaking and just shone! It was like being part of a masterclass in F1 racing. His manoever, when he overtook Kimi with just 4 laps to go, was a thing of sheer beauty.

Schumacher did not win the race; he certainly did not win the championship; hell, he did not even finish on the podium. But he emerged a winner on race day. He drove such a brilliant race that the camera hardly registered Massa’s laps, save for a few glimpses every now and then.

He sure made quite a lot of enemies over the years but no one could deny that he is one of the best drivers ever. He definitely would go down in the history books as one of the greatest drivers we have ever seen. Alonso might go on to win more championships, Kimi might set the tracks on fire, Button might just prove to be the best British driver bar none but no one can ever replace Michael Schumacher. Formula 1 has lost one of its brightest suns and it is going to be a whole lot darker without Schumey around.