Chez Moi

Today’s Val’s day - Feb 14 - yipeee! Cue hearts and cheesy music. Oh and red balloons, red roses, red chocs and anything else in red you can think of. Blech.

All this ‘lurve’ floating around is making my tummy turn (and no it ain’t cos I am pregnant!). What a load of palaver over a single day. I tell you who ends up happiest on this day - Hallmark’s. And other like minded people. Like M&S, Interflora, Le Senza, Clintons and the guy on A127 who’s selling roses from a bucket.

So when did this healthy disregard for love’s most venerated day start? Well, roughly around the time I entered college, I should think. Dang opposite my college building (Ethiraj College, if you wanna know) there used to be this hugely popular Archies Gallery. As it was air-conditioned, I used to meet my mates there and generally timepass till zero hour. But come January, the place will be full if idiots. Idiots, nitwits and nutters who should have never been released from the asylum.

Soon after people had finished shouting themselves hoarse ‘Happy New Year’, the chaps at Archies used to dust the red, glittery hearts and teddies and stuff the store silly with them and play Richard Marx and other cheesy ballads 24/7. And the nincompoops from my college and elsewhere in the 5 mile radius (but chiefly my college), used to wander about the joint in slow-mo, mouthing the words from the Cheesy Song of the Hour, with a goofy look on their faces. As the D-day neared, the number of such ninnies would dramatically multiply, till, on the day before, it will look like a scene from The Inmates Have Taken Over The Loony Bin.

Three years of this has seared the images into my brain and even after a decade, I am unable to walk into any card shop after New Year and not gag at the sea of hearts and moon-faced teddies. Hubby S, though not half the cynic that I am, can never cheese it up on Val’s day, thanks to (literally!) his lack of memory. When we were dating, he had to be prodded by well meaning friends to get a last minute card or chocolates.

Nowadays, I just see it as one more day I am licensed to some bling. Being a non-romantic sort, he threw in the towel fairly early on in the marriage game and just used to ask me straight out what I wanted. And I just said what. He got it. I generally remembered to wear it roughly around my birthday and all was well.

But then, I have heard some serious gasps of horror when I had narrated our careless attitude to this Holy Day and refusal to worship at the altar of St Valentine. I have even heard of some ultimate cases who choose THIS day as THE day to get married. That, as a concept, just blows me away. I mean, your wedding day is special cos it is YOUR wedding day, right? Isn’t that reason enough? Why would you want to link your lot to a marketing icon?

Oh well. Whatever floats your boat, hon. To all the believers, many happies and all that. To all the sane ones, may the Force be with you.

P’s school had the Nativity plays performances this week. Last year he was a narrator and had lines to say. This year, he was cast as a shepherd and didn’t have much to do other than walk about and sleep (or so he claimed). I was convinced he was going to be draped in old curtains with a pot holder on his head and the reality wasn’t too far off!

Having no lines to say, the ‘actors’ kept fidgeting away but none more so than my child. Everytime I tried to zoom in without the Headteacher finding out, he was either yawning or picking his nose! Also I was late going in so couldn’t get a nice spot from where I could hide the camera and film the proceedings. S had to be satisfied with just a few pix and couple of dodgy videos. Here’s one for your viewing pleasure.

I know I am a li’l late but what with North Indians celebrating it for most of last week, Tamils on Thursday and Telugus on Friday and us lot on Saturday as that is the day we get off, I decided to ‘celebrate’ it on my blog on an entirely new day. Loopy or what?

Anyways, I hope everyone had a lovely festival. Was it as good as your childhood ones? (no, course not!) Did you make merry? Did you eat / drink too much? Go on, dish the dirt. What is your best diwali memory? share, pls.

Now, how can I resist this?

Varalakshmi Vrata is one of the biggest festivals that are celebrated during the Tamil month of Aavani (August - September). This is celebrated mainly by Tamil Iyers as well as Telugu and Kannada speaking folk. Every year, this auspicious day falls on the friday before full moon.

Coming from a hybrid family like I do, I did not have any such festivals to deal with while growing up. But as S is from the Telugu Vysya community that celebrates this vrata regularly, I end up being a part of the celeb whenever I go home to Chennai in August. This year too was no exception. This being my third year of doing it (albeit playing a very minor role), I think I have grasped the nous of this deal.

So here’s how it goes: well before D-day, the pooja vessels are given a rigourous spit and polish so they sit gleaming by the umachi side. On D-1 day, a perfectly oval coconut is given a shave so its sides are smooth like a baby’s bottom. Then the said coconut is given a thorough rub-down with turmeric paste. This forms the main part of the kalasa. The main pooja sombu (pot) is filled with water and this coconut sits on top of it. On a bed of new rice, this kalasa is fixed. Next, an imprint of the Goddess (made of silver) is tied on to the front of the kalasa and this becomes the moorti of the Goddess. Then it is time for one’s creativity to break out - you can deck the kalasa in grand silk skirts, decorate it and the pooja area with flowers and put gold jewellery around the neck of the kalasa.

The next morn, poojas are done to Lord Ganesha and Goddess Lakshmi by the women of the household. Offerings of sweet pongal, kheer, vada and a panchamirdam (roughly, fruit salad) made of nine fruits are given to Lakshmi. Pooja and aarati are done in the evening as well as the morning and evening of the following day, before the whole show is packed up till the following year. The water from the kalasa is poured into the nearby well; the rice is cleaned and used in the day’s cooking and the coconut is cleaned off its turmeric and made into any delicious item that doesn’t involve cooking.

One of the main part of the Varalakshmi vrata pooja is the telling of how the vrata came to be celebrated. Of course, with the whole proceedings generally being conducted in Telugu, much of it is OHT. So this year, I decided to read up on this so I knew what the deal was. And the story*, as I found out, is thus:

Long, long ago, there lived a devotee of Lord Vishnu called King Bathrasiravas, who lived with his Queen Surachandrika and daughter Shyamabala. One day, long after she was married and living in her sasural, Shyamabala landed on her parents’ doorstep to spend some quality time with them.

Then, the good Goddess Mahalakshmi, the giver of wealth, took the form of a poor, bedraggled old lady and entered the Queen’s palace. The old lady told the Queen, who was by herself, to perform the Varalaksmi vrata pooja. But the Queen flew into a rage for having been approached thus by a beggar, slapped the lady and threw her out.

Her daughter saw this and followed the old woman and inquired about the pooja. Then, she performed the pooja with due pomp and ceremony. Thanks to the power of this vrata, more and more gold and money was showered on her. But what of her unfortunate parent, who had chased the Goddess of Wealth away? Just as she threw the old lady away, the Goddess too took leave of Queen Surachandrika and the King and Queen were reduced to being penniless paupers.

A distraught Shyamabala sent over a pot of gold coins to her parents; but the pot turned into ashes the moment they touched it. Upon hearing of this, Shyamabala advised her mother to perform the powerful Varalakshmi Vrata pooja. A humbled Queen Surachandrika did so and lo and behold! all her riches were returned to her and the King and Queen lived happily ever after.

And it is said that whoever performs this pooja with utmost devotion and piety will be blessed with all the wishes one could ask for. If that isn’t incentive enough, I don’t know what is!

* - this has been translated from Tamil, so pardon the mistakes!