Chez Moi

After weeks of humming and hawing, the much-planned picnic with SilentOne and her family materialised this Saturday. As I had already met her for lunch and have had many chats, both of the fone and virtual variety, I wasn’t any worried re sticky pauses etc. Hubby, on the other hand, was on tenterhooks. ‘Her hubby is a PhD! What will I talk with him?’ 

But all of that disappeared the minute they walked in to our house and the first “hello” was spoken. I would love to say this was due to our stellar conversational skills. But it was chiefly due to hubby overenthusiastically bellowing a greeting to Little N and touching her. That was it! She let out an almighty roar and refused to be placated. Apparently, she is wary of strange men (and rightly so, young lady!) and suitably chastised, hubby retreated to a corner of the room far away from her. 

P, who was away at a friend’s budday party, joined us mid-way during lunch and Little N was smitten. She refused to take her eyes off him, followed him around the house and tried to copy him. She was so taken up with him that even hubby’s star rose in her eyes and he was finally deemed fit to make her acquaintance. The sweetest moment of the day came when both children were missing - and SilentOne found her daughter sat quietly next to P in his room, with him teaching her something or the other. 

As the day was marvelously sunny , we decided to indulge in our favourite summer time activity: strawberry-picking. We went to a farm nearby, picked some yummy strawberries for our tea (and forgot to eat them later on!) and then proceeded to this massive country park near our house. With a deer enclosure, a duck pond and fabulous grounds, it is a very special place, one we visit as often as possible to take advantage of the finicky British weather. 

Little N was totally taken up with the deer and with some children nearby feeding the deer some vegetables, there was some quality entertainment coming our way. With the deers jostling with one another for the carrots and celery sticks, the children all had a lovely time. P’s extremely ticklish and the deer taking a small piece of carrot from his hands sent him into paroxysms of laughter and Little N looked on in wonder. We had to literally drag her away from the deer. 

Then it was off to feed the ducks. There must have been about 25 - 30 ducks vying for the bread that was being chucked at them and a rowdy swan in the middle kept trying to intimidate the smaller birds into giving up their tasty morsels for him. Shouting in glee, P and Little N stayed by the banks, throwing bread to the birds and generally enjoying themselves. It was time to leave all too soon and they had to be taken back to the car, kicking and screaming.

I was quite keen to see P’s reaction to Little N. Ever since he knew that he was going to be a big brother, he has finally started noticing younger children. Babies that didn’t even merit a glance from him before were now given the once over. The first time he actually spent more than a minute in a baby’s company was when we visited Premalatha and co - Avni has the singular honour of being the first baby to capture his attention! With Little N in the year-and-half zone, I was wondering how he would react to her. 

So after they left, I asked him what he thought of her. His words left me stunned!

P: “She scared me, mummy!”

Me: “Scared? Why??”

P: “Should I marry her when we grow up?”

Me: “What? No! Wherever did you get that idea?”

P: …..

Here I was, thinking my son was looking at prospective big brother duties while all the time, he was thinking of something along much different lines!! Only my son can ever think his old mum will be match fixing for him at such a tender age! He was quite relieved when I told him my intentions were purer than the driven snow. 

P: “That’s good. ‘Cos I don’t want to get married. I am going to live with you and daddy for ever.”

Me: “Okay then. What if you have a baby sister? Will we get her married?”

P: “yeah yeah we will. We’ll get her married off to a boy. Girls want to kiss and get married anyway.”

Me: “!!!!”

Good times, people. 

Last eve, I got a massive jolt. Was getting P dressed to go out to play when he posed this question:

“do you know what alcohol is?”

Me: “errr” [where is this leading?]

P: [confidently] “Boobs!”

Me: *koff koff* WHAT?

Well it took me a few minutes to get to the bottom of this revelation. Apparently, whilst I was slaving over dinner the previous evening, father and son were watching a “Did you know?” kind of program on gin. During the course of that, my son misheard the voiceover guy’s, you guessed it, booze as boobs, his current hot word!

Needless to say, his eejit parents laughed themselves silly over it after he was fast asleep!

P: Why the skeleton DIDN’T cross the road?

Me: Eh? No clue. Why not?

P: ‘Cos he didn’t have any guts. Geddit?

What can I say? Chip off the old block!!

Last week, whilst in a hurry to get ready for school or maths class or some such…
Me: P, hurry up and get ready. If you are not ready, then I will have to leave you and go off by myself.
P: okay mummy.
(few mins later, he comes out dressed whilst I am still ironing my trousers)
P: I’m ready mummy and you’re not. This means I have to leave you and go now and you have to come by yourself.
Me: !!!!

______________________________

On the way back from school, chatting about what to do for my birthday, which is weeks away!!
Me: How about boating?
P: Speed boating?!!
Me: No, er, the slow kind.
P: Nah. Boring. How about ice skating?
Me: Well, not much fun for me as I won’t be able to do it.
P: No, no, you can do it. Daddy can be with you and hold you, make sure you don’t fall.
Me: No, hon, Daddy has to stay with you, make sure you don’t get hurt.
P: Me? Why? I don’t have a baby in MY tummy!!
Me: ROFL!

Why is it that most fears surface around 3.00 o’clock in the morning? It feels like at that time, all the nameless fears buried deep in your subconscious somehow float to the surface then and jostle your brain.

I had two nights last week when this happened to me that has prompted me to write so. First was last Friday - earlier on  previous evening, P came to me with this bump on his head. Didn’t think much of it as hey, which child doesn’t get scrapes and bumps eh? But then, in the dead of the night, thoughts of the mysterious bump and its mobile nature came unbidden to my head and roused me awake. From there, it was a small step worrying about mysterious ailments and a pointless and thoroughly scary Google search.

A quick trip to the doc the next day put my mind to rest.

Three nights back, it was the baby’s turn to worry me. Normally, she (I’d like to think it is a girl!) is quite active and moves around a lot. But that night, I couldn’t really feel the movements and started worrying. I had given myself 30 mins before I awoke S and really shifted into proper panic mode. Went to the loo, drank some cool water and lay down on the sofa for a while, worrying about silly things when I felt a small bump. I daren’t believe it and thought it was my tummy rumbling away. But soon enough, the baby started kicking and moving with usual vigour and the relief that flooded through me was unbelievable, I tell you!

Now I know what my mum means when she states that she couldn’t sleep after she woke up with some disjointed thoughts re my errant brother! Isn’t it funny that no matter how old your children are, it is at 3 AM, you lie awake thinking of them and worrying your head over them?