Chez Moi

Why is it that most fears surface around 3.00 o’clock in the morning? It feels like at that time, all the nameless fears buried deep in your subconscious somehow float to the surface then and jostle your brain.

I had two nights last week when this happened to me that has prompted me to write so. First was last Friday - earlier on  previous evening, P came to me with this bump on his head. Didn’t think much of it as hey, which child doesn’t get scrapes and bumps eh? But then, in the dead of the night, thoughts of the mysterious bump and its mobile nature came unbidden to my head and roused me awake. From there, it was a small step worrying about mysterious ailments and a pointless and thoroughly scary Google search.

A quick trip to the doc the next day put my mind to rest.

Three nights back, it was the baby’s turn to worry me. Normally, she (I’d like to think it is a girl!) is quite active and moves around a lot. But that night, I couldn’t really feel the movements and started worrying. I had given myself 30 mins before I awoke S and really shifted into proper panic mode. Went to the loo, drank some cool water and lay down on the sofa for a while, worrying about silly things when I felt a small bump. I daren’t believe it and thought it was my tummy rumbling away. But soon enough, the baby started kicking and moving with usual vigour and the relief that flooded through me was unbelievable, I tell you!

Now I know what my mum means when she states that she couldn’t sleep after she woke up with some disjointed thoughts re my errant brother! Isn’t it funny that no matter how old your children are, it is at 3 AM, you lie awake thinking of them and worrying your head over them?