Chez Moi

Popstars on an adopting spree, veiled Teaching Assistant and the Macca v Mucca battle - Britain was never such a fun place to be in that the last week. It was like being in the thick of not one but a myriad of newsstorms and we didn’t know which way to turn! Whilst the celebs seemed to be hell-bent on making sure our attention was concentrated on them, the Muslim TA added more drama to our lives by making her views known far and wide. All I had to do was rub my hands in glee and sit back - this was pure entertainment!

Fairly on top of the ratings chart is the Battle of the McCartneys - when I read in the summer that the former Beatle was hoping for a quick and dignified divorce, I thought that was wishful thinking, even for him. Now, the shit has well and truly hit the fan and it doesn’t look like it is going to be cleaned anytime soon. How eight pages of highly confidential divorce papers, detailing Macca’s wife beating and other assorted antics (on one memorable occasion, apparently, he narrowly missed wearing the ketchup) mysteriously ended in the In tray of AP’s offices is the million pound question. The dailies hazarded a guess whereby Heather, the “woman scorned”, herself faxed the data to AP to get back at McCartney.

Macca is a British icon and one of my colleague’s reaction on reading the headline that proclaimed Macca to be a wife beater was succint: “Rubbish! That woman is off her rocker!” Even if the allegations were true, it will take more than Heather Mills’s words to pull the former Beatle from his pedestal. More likely, the mud will stick on her and once again, her past as a former glamour model and ‘escort’, who became famous championing anti-landmines causes after she lost her leg in a motorcycle accident, will come under scrutiny.

Middle of the week saw the furore kicked up by the Case of the Veiled Teacher as she accused her employers, a Church of England school no less, of discrimination as they refused to let her wear the veil in class. Aishah Azmi took on Kirklees Council when she was asked to remove her veil at school, sparking a nation-wide religious debate - yet again. To veil or not to veil became the question. Islamic women’s rights were being downtrodden, claimed some supporters while Jack Straw’s comments of the women wearing the veil separating themselves from society was aired once again and thrashed about the place.

Icing on this particular cake was, when Ms. Azmi was awarded £1100 as a compensation for her “hurt feelings”. Well, I like that!

Even before I stopped spluttering over the previous news tidbit came the Madonna and Son row. Deciding to give her flagging pop career a boost, the Material Girl took a leaf out of Angelina Jolie’s footsteps and visited the Dark Continent to get herself a new child.

One-year-old David Banda, who lost his mum soon after his birth was the Chosen One and after ‘careful vetting’, Mr and Mrs Ritchie were given permission by the impoverished nation of Malawi to adopt one of its children. But the meticulously planned operation hit two snags: 1. public outcry over what they considered flouting of Malawi’s adoption rule that the parents should be residents of the country for 18 months 2. David Banda’s father backpedalling and crying foul just days of hitting at the media to leave Madonna alone. Now, Madonna is reported to be bewildered at the lashing she’s receiving from the media for her latest action. She’s even going to go on Oprah next week to put forward her point.

Well, after the action of the past week, this week’s fare seems quite dull - Prince Charles’ tax probe, R. Amazon’s direction changing feat, David Cameron’s efforts to show himself as being ‘hip’ and ‘with it’, nothing has a zing to it. Come on, Posh & Becks - do something! Spice up our lives!