Chez Moi

Yesterday afternoon, while I was on my lunch break, I decided to climb Cardiac Hill (our name for the rather steep Primrose Hill) and wander around the High Street shops, as you would. As I was standing at the junction of Primrose Hill and Crown Street, a car stopped next to me and this senior-ish desi man asked me if I knew which way Rose Valley was. For once, I did and I was only too happy to show him the way. It was, after all, just down the road and tiddly road that went off the roundabout.

But translating this into motorese proved to be tougher than I bargained for. I have a problem differenciating between my left and right. When I normally say ‘take the left’, folks go ‘oh you mean the right - okay, got you’. Of course, this innocent stranger didn’t know that. So, when I said, ‘go down this road and at the roundabout, take the left and then turn into the first road on your left’, he took my words to be gospel and proceeded to do so.

Even as I watched indulgently, he indicated left at the rounabout and proceeded up Queen’s Road. That was when it hit me - I had told him left, instead of right! Typically, I saw the bloke come bowling towards me as I walked up Coptfold Road. I flagged him down, apologised profusely and said ‘I meant right when I said left’. He gave me a ‘I forgive you, lady’ smile and asked me ‘okay now which way?’ So I started again ‘you go down this road and then you take the…’ I was waving my left arm like mad when he went ‘right, right’ and I said ‘yeah take the right, and then take the right at the roundabout’.

He waved me a cheerful bye, took the right and proceeded towards the direction of the High Street. That was when realisation dawned on me - I had meant left and when the bloke prompted ‘right, right’, I had got confused and sent him the wrong way - again!

So, all you good folks of Brentwood, if you see a poor, harassed man, with wilted flowers in his passenger seat, asking you the way to Rose Valley, please point him in the right direction. And do not, I beg you, do not tell him where I live!

Map of Brentwood - with Primrose Hill and Rose Valley

Popstars on an adopting spree, veiled Teaching Assistant and the Macca v Mucca battle - Britain was never such a fun place to be in that the last week. It was like being in the thick of not one but a myriad of newsstorms and we didn’t know which way to turn! Whilst the celebs seemed to be hell-bent on making sure our attention was concentrated on them, the Muslim TA added more drama to our lives by making her views known far and wide. All I had to do was rub my hands in glee and sit back - this was pure entertainment!

Fairly on top of the ratings chart is the Battle of the McCartneys - when I read in the summer that the former Beatle was hoping for a quick and dignified divorce, I thought that was wishful thinking, even for him. Now, the shit has well and truly hit the fan and it doesn’t look like it is going to be cleaned anytime soon. How eight pages of highly confidential divorce papers, detailing Macca’s wife beating and other assorted antics (on one memorable occasion, apparently, he narrowly missed wearing the ketchup) mysteriously ended in the In tray of AP’s offices is the million pound question. The dailies hazarded a guess whereby Heather, the “woman scorned”, herself faxed the data to AP to get back at McCartney.

Macca is a British icon and one of my colleague’s reaction on reading the headline that proclaimed Macca to be a wife beater was succint: “Rubbish! That woman is off her rocker!” Even if the allegations were true, it will take more than Heather Mills’s words to pull the former Beatle from his pedestal. More likely, the mud will stick on her and once again, her past as a former glamour model and ‘escort’, who became famous championing anti-landmines causes after she lost her leg in a motorcycle accident, will come under scrutiny.

Middle of the week saw the furore kicked up by the Case of the Veiled Teacher as she accused her employers, a Church of England school no less, of discrimination as they refused to let her wear the veil in class. Aishah Azmi took on Kirklees Council when she was asked to remove her veil at school, sparking a nation-wide religious debate - yet again. To veil or not to veil became the question. Islamic women’s rights were being downtrodden, claimed some supporters while Jack Straw’s comments of the women wearing the veil separating themselves from society was aired once again and thrashed about the place.

Icing on this particular cake was, when Ms. Azmi was awarded £1100 as a compensation for her “hurt feelings”. Well, I like that!

Even before I stopped spluttering over the previous news tidbit came the Madonna and Son row. Deciding to give her flagging pop career a boost, the Material Girl took a leaf out of Angelina Jolie’s footsteps and visited the Dark Continent to get herself a new child.

One-year-old David Banda, who lost his mum soon after his birth was the Chosen One and after ‘careful vetting’, Mr and Mrs Ritchie were given permission by the impoverished nation of Malawi to adopt one of its children. But the meticulously planned operation hit two snags: 1. public outcry over what they considered flouting of Malawi’s adoption rule that the parents should be residents of the country for 18 months 2. David Banda’s father backpedalling and crying foul just days of hitting at the media to leave Madonna alone. Now, Madonna is reported to be bewildered at the lashing she’s receiving from the media for her latest action. She’s even going to go on Oprah next week to put forward her point.

Well, after the action of the past week, this week’s fare seems quite dull - Prince Charles’ tax probe, R. Amazon’s direction changing feat, David Cameron’s efforts to show himself as being ‘hip’ and ‘with it’, nothing has a zing to it. Come on, Posh & Becks - do something! Spice up our lives!

Oct 22, 2006, Sao Palo will remain forever etched in every Ferrari fan’s memory as the venue for one of the greatest F1 races ever. There was no shortage of drama and whoever had tuned in or turned up in person at the venue had more than their money’s worth.

I hate to admit but I was nervous as hell - Mikey had qualified at P 10 and Alonso was in P4. Though I wasn’t too worried about Mikey’s starting position, I was doubtful the upstart would oblige and crash his car. Anyways, I wanted Michael to win the race and the championship proper - not by default.

So I sat through ITV’s pre-race waffle and by the time the klaxon sounded, my nerves had got the better of me and I beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen, to watch the race from farther afield. I am really nervous about watching my favourite men play - Sachin always goes out on a duck if I sit cheering him on; on one memorable occasion, Mikey’s car blew up in the last few laps at Suzuka and that sod Hakkinen walked away with the championship.

On lap 10 of the Grand Prix though, my world crashed about my ears as Mikey’s car threw a wobbly and swerved all over the place. Moments later, we could see why - his right rear tyre had had a blowout, thanks to the debris left over from Rosberg’s car. Mikey drove like a demon with the punctured tyre to get back into the pits and get a new set. He rejoined the race at P19 and from then on, it was pure drama.

Once it was clear that there was no way Mikey could win either the championship or the race, he just stepped up a couple of gears and drove one of the best races of his career. He continually set up fastest lap times, overtook every car that came in his way and showed us what we are going to be missing in the years to come. He blistered down the tracks, made some brilliant moves overtaking and just shone! It was like being part of a masterclass in F1 racing. His manoever, when he overtook Kimi with just 4 laps to go, was a thing of sheer beauty.

Schumacher did not win the race; he certainly did not win the championship; hell, he did not even finish on the podium. But he emerged a winner on race day. He drove such a brilliant race that the camera hardly registered Massa’s laps, save for a few glimpses every now and then.

He sure made quite a lot of enemies over the years but no one could deny that he is one of the best drivers ever. He definitely would go down in the history books as one of the greatest drivers we have ever seen. Alonso might go on to win more championships, Kimi might set the tracks on fire, Button might just prove to be the best British driver bar none but no one can ever replace Michael Schumacher. Formula 1 has lost one of its brightest suns and it is going to be a whole lot darker without Schumey around.

Gautham Menon is one of the hottest directors in Tamil cinema today. His first movie in Tamil was the Madhavan-Abbas-Reema Sen starrer, Minnale. He became famous when his ‘Kaaka Kaaka’, starring Surya and Jyothika became a super-duper hit. He recently made Vettaiyadu Vilaiyadu, with Kamal Haasan and Jyothika. Shooting for his fourth project, Pachaikili Muthu Charam, with Sarath Kumar and Jyothika is going on at full steam as the movie is set for a Christmas Day release. It is at this time that I got a chance to chat with one of his assistants for the movie, Meghana Karthik.

Q: How did you end up where you are, as an assistant director?

Meghana: Well, this is something I’ve always wanted to do – films, I mean and I’ve always had this love for Tamil cinema. So I put down options which were films, ad films and photography. And right now I seem to be doing two of them - films and photography.

Q: How did you meet Gautham Menon?

Meghana: I have a friend who is a music director and one day I asked him if he could speak to Gautham for me. He did, it worked and here I am!

Q: What exactly does being an assistant director entail?

Meghana: Being an Assistant director involves diff kinds of work. It could be anything from taking out scene print outs, to scheduling the shoot as per location, telephoning the production dept on which dates which artist is required to calling for the props and informing what costumes are required for the next day. When I started, I didn’t really get involved with the script, so I’ve been in charge of taking care of the continuity.

Q: Never a dull moment then! How do u take care of continuity? Do you take pictures to help you - like photograph the set, and the people at a certain time so you can come back to it later and make sure it is the same way?

Meghana: Yes. We have a photographer who is full time on sets. He takes all the photos and we ask him for specific continuity snaps, for example, a close up of this particular shot for the “scar continuity”. Apart from that I have to maintain what’s called an editing report, in which I write down who’s wearing what costume in which scene.

Q: Sounds pretty intense - and involved!

Meghana: It is. The most important thing is that your eyes and ears should always be open. Meaning, you should be highly observant and equipped with whatever is required as you wont know when the director will ask you for what.

Q: Siddharth, when speaking about his days as an assistant to Mani Ratnam, once said that when you are an assistant director, you are at the beck and call of everyone - is that true?

Meghana: Yes, you can say that. From scheduling the shoot, to coming early to the spot and getting the costumes ready for the day, to making sure the artists are ready and to call them before the shoot - all of these are part of an assistant director’s job profile!

Q: Definitely not a 9-5 job then!

Meghana: No way! After shoot is over, we go to the office and take print outs and organize things for the next day. Since it involves a lot of background work, our unit has around 6 assistants. We split the work equally and some days I get loads of work and some days less – it all depends on the workload of the day. But we all get along fine and have our roles sorted between us, to make the whole thing work like clockwork.

Q: So tell me something about this movie you are working on.
Meghana: The movie is called Pachaikilli Muthu Charam and has Sarath Kumar and Jyothika in the lead. Top model Milind Soman does a role that has negative shades to it . The film also has Andrea. It’s a family based story, which has an interesting twist in it (smiles) - so watch out for that one!

Q: I thought Jyothika has quit movies post her wedding to Surya?

Meghana: Yes, that’s true. The shooting for her part was completed a while ago

Q: And Andrea, is that the singer?

Meghana: Yep! Andrea the singer, model, theatre personality and now, actress!

Q: Tell me something about your background - school, college?

Meghana: Like I told you, I have always been interested in movies. With a view to getting into that as a career, I chose Visual Communications at Bachelor’s level. Then, I did my Masters in Television and Video Production at Xaviers Institute of Communication, Mumbai. Once I completed that, I came back to Chennai to pursue my dream of getting into films. And as luck would have it, about three weeks after I came back, I got a job with Gautham sir!

Q: What did your parents feel about your career choice - working in the big bad world of movies?

Meghana: I basically come from a media background, so it was not very difficult to convince them. My dad’s a photographer and he produced ad films in the late 80’s and early 90’s, so its nothing new to my family. The most important thing is that I had always said I wanted to do either films or photography. So it was just easy when I got into Visual Communication, did well and right after that I went to Mumbai for my masters and soon after that, landed here!

Q: You said you have always liked Tamil movies – do you have a favourite?

Meghana: Oh, now that’s a difficult one! There are so many, I really can’t choose one. I really like movies by KB, Mani Ratnam, Kamal Hassan and of course, Gautham sir! I don’t think I have an absolute favourite one as such. I watch so many movies that it is impossible to name a few, much less one!

Q: That is important, isn’t it - to watch different types of movies, made by different directors, so you can learn from them all?

Meghana: Absolutely!

Q: Do you have a favourite actor?

Meghana: No!

Q: So who would be your ideal hero to cast as lead in your own movie?

Meghana: Depends on my script and I haven’t thought of one so far. I would love to work with Surya, Dhanush, Madhavan, Siddharth and Rahul Bose.

Q: Not every assistant director ends up as a successful director - what do you think would you have to do to make sure you don’t become part of the statistic?

Meghana: Well, cinema in general has this belief that people who make it big in “commercial films” are successful directors. In fact, there are so many other directors who make good art films and are brilliant at what they do. But they still do not get the recognition a commercial director gets, simply because the reach is not enough. It is true that people follow the commercial films. I feel that somewhere down the line they get lost because they might cast a small hero. The heroine would be dressed in skimpy outfits and won’t know how to act and the story would be a clichéd love story - girl meets boy, they fall in love but separate and…

Q: Now you have just described most of our movies! Fair girl, skimpy clothes, running around trees - add anorexic to it and you have some of our so called ‘numero uno’ heroines!

Meghana: (smiles) Well! To answer your question, I want to make films, yes – good ones. Don’t know if it is going to be a commercial one or an art film. Whether I am being recognized as a big director or not, I want to make films which inspire me.

Q: Good answer! Okay this is one of my pet peeves - going abroad for a song and shooting it in exotic locales - why can’t the same song be shot just as brilliantly in our own country? We have got great beaches, backwaters, mountains, lakes, waterfalls why do the moviemakers still prefer foreign to local?

Meghana: Hmm. One could be publicity - “oh this Surya-Jyothika song is shot in New York and its awesome”. But if you cast your mind back a bit, you might remember the old days when they used to erect these ugly sets spending quite a few lakhs and shoot a song that wasn’t too visually appealing. I reckon at some point in time they figured out going abroad with a smaller crew for a week and shooting a song worked out cheaper.

Q: Is that the only choice - shoot a song in Majorca or set a plug-ugly set in Chennai and make a mess of it? Why can’t we go to, say, Kuttralam and shoot a song?

Meghana: If it were me, I would try my best to shoot within India. Unless, of course, my script “demands” a foreign location! But, I agree with you - there are beautiful places in India and there is no reason why we cannot shoot here!

Q: I have to say, you are very diplomatic!

Meghana: No just being honest about the way feel about certain things!

Q: Ok, last question - what, in your opinion, is a film maker’s job / duty?

Meghana: Well, that’s easy! A filmmaker should make people feel they’re part of the action when they’re watching the film. Let the audience live vicariously for a bit!

Q: Well said! Anyway, thank you for taking time out to talking to me. I shall look forward to seeing Pachaikili Muthu Charam - as well as your own one in the future!

Meghana: Thank you!

A quick glance at a poster advertising Diwai celebrations while driving through Ealing Road last month led to us standing in a gusty wind at 7:00 pm on a dull autumn evening last weekend. Even as the crowds gathered around me, I couldn’t help thinking that I might possibly be the only mug who has travelled 30 miles to stand
there in that spot so assorted garishly dressed people could parade about the streets.

After trying different methods to keep ourselves warm - stomping feet, swinging our arms about, scoffing hot samosas - we finally heard the faint sounds of, wait for it, bagpipes! I really thought I was hearing things when this van with a massive figure of papier-mache Ganesha came slowly, leading the procession. Following at its heels were a number of desi bagpipers, replete with tika and all! Do not make the mistake of asking me what it was all about!

Next came floats in the form of the many and varied Indian gods and goddesses as well as children dressed up as gods children dressed up as gods, butterflies, peacocks and some other far out creations. There were also various Swami somebody or the other and their followers, singing bhajans and my personal favourite, three jolly characters, dressed as Ram, Lakshman and Sita, showering blessings on everybody in sight! The rear was brought up by another ‘band’, playing amongst other tunes, ‘Lajja Lajja’ and an auto advertising Sony Asia Max!

As most of the people standing around me followed the last of the ‘floats’, I decided to follow suit. I learnt along the way that we were en route to the park where the fireworks display was to be held. On we went, singing and dancing (well, in my case, prancing about trying not to step on my neighbour’s toes yet again and earn one more hot glare) and finally entered Barham Park and therein, bedlam.

There were at least a squillion people there, everyone one of them hell bent on squashing my foot to dust in order to get two and a quarter steps ahead of me. Inside were the usual Fireworks night extra fittings - slides and rides for the little kiddies and the older ones as well as the cotton candy and hot dogs stands. But clearly audible well over all this racket was this stage.

With bass volume almost three times louder than the treble, music was pumping out of the massive speakers that flanked the stage. A handful of skimpily-clad teenage gyrated to the beats of Dus bahaane kar ke leh gaye dil while the assembled crowd seemed to go mad with every thump. When the MC announced that the next performer was to be Jassie Sidhu, the girl next to me, who was till then merely content with jogging my elbow and screeching in my ear to Nach Baliye, went catatonic and did her best to push me out of her way to get herself as close to the stage as possible.

I have to admit this was the first time I had even heard of this bloke and when he started belting out a bhangra number, it just sounded like the other songs of the same genre that I have heard before. But I am sure he was glad that the crowd didn’t agree with me. He continued to enthrall them and then finally, at about 9pm, the fireworks display started. Bright sparks, in a myriad of different hues, took over the skies amidst shouts of ‘Happy Diwali’.

Happy Diwali indeed!