Chez Moi

Dedicated to my fellow (disgruntled) DC writers in recognition of their literary efforts.

A phrase used by our own temporal in response to one of my comments stuck in my mind - paper tigers. This was with reference to all those ‘critics’ who jump on a blog author’s throat no matter what the blog is about and generally do a ‘Mexican three bean dance’ (another one of t’s gems!) over the tiniest issue. No matter if the issue in question is a random innocent remark - it would still get jumped on by these paper tigers like vultures on carcass.

That set me thinking. Why? Why would you rip the throat of a nameless, faceless stranger who’s just sharing some blog space with you over anything? Why such intense, strong reactions, such caustic attacks? Would you behave the same way face to face?

The answer, simply, is no.

Face to face, you are forced to put on a mantle of civil respectability and manners, and behave like a civilised human being - not like a gorilla on Speed. But from the safety of your own home, hiding behind the anonymity of the computer, one sort of breaks free of the shackles of society-imposed propriety and lets loose the inner animal.

The first time I came under a direct attack, (well, as direct as one can get in cyber space!) I was taken aback! Such vehemence, such venom - not what you expect in response to an opinion you have expressed, surely! But after the first couple (of hundred) of insults and random attacks, I got used to it - in fact, have even come to expect it! It’s a sad, sad situation and its getting more n more absurd.

How do you identify a paper tiger?

By its growl. No, this is not a PJ but pure fact. These paper tigers cannot but help growling - they do so freely, without any qualm, at every single thing that might or might not come their way. They also are a lot more vehement than the average Joe. Rather free too, with curses and swear words.

They come in all shapes and forms - some of them are part-time doctors (”DesiGirl, better take your Ritalin”), while others are a bit confused on the gender issue (”NYMOM uncle or auntie”; “Desigirl uncle or auntie”). Some of them are blessed with Sight (”watch out! Once 498a becomes a reality, then pop goes the weasel”). But all of them share one common trait - complete and utter inability to follow the plot. Navigators they ain’t, coz they are prone to go off on a tangent, far and away from where the post in leading.

So, what next?

Well, you can deal with this in couple of different ways - the most sensible of these would be to just ignore them and carry on as normal. Easier said than done, I know. When you have bashed your head against the wall, trying to turn out a post that means something to you, it cannot be exactly soothing to your soul to find that a few paper tigers have come and made mincemeat of it in your absense.

That’s when you go with option 2: counter-attack. Nothing is more satisfying than this, I should say. I know it is not as sensible as turning the other cheek - but sometimes, this sane action can get interpreted as cowardice and cause much jubliation in the tigers’ midst, which in turn makes them even more rampant. Going on the warpath might just dispel this feeling of euphoria amongst the tigers.

Option three is a version of option 1 - to try and see the funny side of it. Again, easier said than done, I know! But this makes sure your blood pressure doesn’t shoot up or you end up chucking your PC in the bin. At times like this, friends come in handy - Saks and t came to my rescue recently by composing songs / poems and cracked me up, thereby forcing me to stop seeing red.

All in all, these tigers are part of our fauna - deal with them, we have to. Funny part of all this is that some of these tigers profess to help those in despair from killing themselves or doing something else equally extreme, in their regular guise - what they fail to see is that, in the meanwhile, in cyberspace, the land of the brave and home of the free, they are driving us poor souls to therapy!

Let me come straight out and admit to being a hard core fan of Euphoria. I was smitten the day I listened to Maaeri, way back in year 2000. That song was the best song I had ever heard in my life till then. Even today, it still remains a firm favourite of mine.

For those who have come in late, Euphoria consist of DJ (bass), Benny (keyboard), Hitesh and Gaurav on guitars, Ashwani on drums, Rakesh and Prashanth on dholak and tabla and Palash, the singer-songwriter, the “brain” of the band.

Euphoria’s music style is something uniquely desi. It is full-on fun, full of colour and somehow, something magical. Their latest offering, Mehfuz, is no different. The album contains twelve tracks and each one is a beaut.

The album opens with ‘Soneya‘, a typical Euphoric number, reasonably pacey and with good mixing, followed by the title track ‘Mehfuz‘, which is a slow, melodious number. Guitar chords start the song off beautifully, with Palash singing in his trademark style. Another great song Roshni, with lyrics by Gulzar, is a wonderful, ensemble number.

If Phir Dhoom brought in shades of Punjab, with Maaeri, Mehfuz has some Goan influence in ‘Dil’, with Benny penning some parts in Konkani. There’s some heavy stuff with Sant Kabir and Raheem’s dohas putting in an appearance in the appropriately titled ‘Doha’.

The only song that didn’t sit well with me is the English one ‘She’s Beautiful’ - though the tune is good and the words are alrighty enough, Polly singing away in angrez is taking me some getting used to. I would rest happy when he belts out in good ole Hindi - not that you didn’t do the song justice, Polly ole soul but when you sing in good ole Hindustani, it stirs me up!

Barring that, I could list the 11 remaining tracks and praise them to high heavens for the rest of the day (and night) - and still I would find myself bereft of words. Every one of them has a special something to it - all of them have a familiar feel to them, making you feel like you are among old friends again and Palash’s voice rings out strong, song after song after song.

If, like me, you are far away home and are feeling home-sick, then slot this CD in your player, get your headphones out, relax with a cuppa chai and you will be transported to India. Kabhi aana Euphoria gully!

The audio of Siddharth’s new telugu flick, ‘Bommarillu‘, was released on July 15, after much delay. I, for one, was eagerly awaiting this, not least because the music director, Devi Sri Prasad, seems to have gone through some sort of revival since last year’s blockbuster, Nuvvostante Nenoddantana.

There are seven songs in all in the album and while I wouldn’t lie through my teeth and say they are all absolutely fantabulous, most of them are good. There’s a heavy Western influence - I think we have my favourite, A R Rahman, to thank for that! In some places, the beats seem to intrude a bit but most of the songs are of the foot-tapping variety.

Appudo Ippudo - Siddharth, the multi-talented boy wonder, sings this song. His pronounciation has improved manifold since his < days. This is a fast number and in my opinion, the best track in the album - it has a good pace to it, it makes an easy listen and Sid’s trademark bouncy energy has permeated his delivery, which makes it for a great number. His pronounciation has improved 100% since his Chukkallo Chandrudu days. If you cannot believe me, then go back and listen to Yadalo Eppudo and you’ll understand what I am talking about.

Bommani Geesthe, sung by Gopika and Jeans Srinivas, is a melodious number. The lyrics are very sweet and the music the song is set to is quite good too. It is a slow number, one of the two in the album. The flute in the beginning of the start of the song, sets the mood quite well.

The composer turns singer with Kaani Ippudu and does a decent job of it. The song has a catchy tune and a nice, swinging beat. Your feet start tapping to the beat before you realise it. I am sure we will be hearing the song’s remixed versions on the club floors soon enough.

The opening chords of this song, We have a Romeo, reminded me of those of the song ‘Karka Karka’ from Vettaiyadu Vilaiyadu. This is a fleeting similarity and the song branches off into its own route soon enough, with the bloke singing about looking for his Juliet. Typically, he lists the characteristics of his girl and the song proceeds well enough. When Andrea comes in with the English verse, it somehow doesn’t sit well. I reckon the references to Romeo & Juliet have something to do with this interlude - as long as it doesn’t translate to a Genelia on a balcony, with Sid somewhere on the ground level, singing his heart out, I shall be happy!

Laloo Darvaja didn’t make much of an impression on me. The same thumping beats that is found in every song plays a prominent role in this one as well. After a verse and a chorus of this, there’s a slow interlude by the female singer which doesn’t get at all with the main song. After this, the song continues on its previous vein, making me wonder what just happened.

Nammaka Thappani, sung by Sagar and Sumangali, is the other slow number and is a decent one as well. But by now, the thumping beats have begun annoying me. The composer has to pay special attention to the use of the same four beats - after a bit, it feels quite repetitive.

Though the album is a decent enough listen, it lacks the freshness of NVNV. The best bit, for me, was Siddharth belting out Appudo Ippudo - it remains to be seen if that is enough to make it a hit.

Today was a scorcher. The weather forecaster on last night’s news predicted 28°C but I suspect it was more than that. I found out just now that elsewhere in Britan it soared up to 38.1°C(100.6°F), making it the hottest day EVER! To my mates in Chennai, it might seem like I am kicking a fuss over nothing or I am becoming a fireng, if I am moaning about a warm day like today.

The thing is, I am concerned - no, strike that, I am worried! I came to the UK five years back and that year, it hit 23°C one solitary day in July and that was the only day I dared to go outside without the company of my overcoat. But over the years, warm summer days are becoming more and more regular and over the course of the following week, it is supposed to become more and more hot. 38°C in Brentwood on Wednesday - 10°C hotter than today - my mind boggles!

Most of my angrezi friends here can’t be happier. They love the sunny weather and most of them were lying about in their lawns today, getting all nice and brown. How come no one is worried that it is becoming hotter and hotter? In Chennai, where it used to hover around 38 during the agni nakshatram (loosely translated, fire star - the hottest part of the year), it regularly tops off at 45°C.

And it isn’t looking likely to change for the better anymore. Cos global warming is here to stay. We are changing our planet’s geographical makeup slowly but surely, not understanding that we are heading towards the point of no return, beyong which the changes would be irrevocable.

Almost every step we take forward in the form of technology, has a negative impact on our planet. Take something like flying, for example. India is devoloping on all fronts and we now have low-cost, budget airlines much like the rest of the world. Like one of my friends in India put it, it costs less to fly to London that to Delhi. All this equals great news, isn’t it? Your mum can fly out to see you in Timbuktu couple of times a year now!

Wrong! Low-cost airlines, while equalling comfort, more starkly mean we are exponentially increasing our carbon footprint. With the world becoming smaller, our carbon footprint becomes bigger and bigger as the day goes by. Pretty soon, a torrid day and the price of mineral water going up yet again would be the least of our worries.

It is time we started making major lifestyle changes to make up for raping our planet of its delicate balance. First on that list would be to switch off the TV, computer and other assorted electical stuff around the home, just before we hit the sack at night. Leaving things on stand by is just as bad as having them on all day long.

Another way of helping things is to reduce the usage of cars and bikes. While it is not feasible to take the train from Washington to Bangalore, you can do something to negate the bad effects of air travel by carbon offsetting. What is that, you ask? According to carbonfootprint.com, carbon offsets enable people and organisations to reduce their carbon footprint. Carbon Offsets allow carbon dioxide, one of the main green house gases, to be either taken out of the atmosphere or reduced in another part of the world.

This can be something simple like planting a tree to changing to a green energy supplier for your electricity. Whatever the method is, we have to start doing something straight away.

Or, we could carry on as before and not do anything. Planting one solitary tree isn’t going to help much, is it? What is the worst that could happen, anyway? Well, nobody knows one could predict exactly how bad it could all end up being - but of one thing I am certain - it would be one heck of a show!

My favourite Indian band of all times is Euphoria. Palaash and gang have completely transformed Indian music scene with their HINDROCK (which totally rocks!). Their 2000 hit, Maaeri, is my favourite song EVER, bar none. I also like their other songs, like Aana meri gully (starring none other than the Parineeta herself, Vidya Balan!) and Ab na ja.

In their own words, the guys can be described as….. DJ, “the backbone” on bass; BENNY, “the fingers” on keys; HITESH, “the heart” on guitars; ASHWANI, “the legs” on drums; GAURAV, “the pulse” on guitars, RAKESH and PRASHANT, “the arms” on dholak and tabla and PALASH, “the brain” on… err….any topic in the world!!