Chez Moi

Last Saturday, when I was well into my weekly marathon yakking sessions with my mum back in Chennai, she gave me a piece of news that jolted me. One of the girls from my old school, a girl 7 years younger than myself, had just committed suicide.

I was like ‘WHAT?’ She also said a friend of hers killed herself the month before. What is happening to our youngsters? What prompts a 21-year-old, one who’s on the threshold of her life, to just end it, when the whole life is out there, just waiting to be lived?

The girls in question were just making their mark as playback singers in the Tamil movie industry and I am sure, had their lives not been so rudely cut off, gone on to make it big. So what would prompt them to just give up on everything and take their own lives?

Is it a rash action of a moment? Is it a pre-meditated act? Or is it just a cry for help?

A few years back, I remember reading about the death of former beauty queen, model and VJ, Nafisa Joseph. I think her fiance jilted her and she killed herself or something. I remember thinking, if a worldly-wise woman, who must have seen a few things in her modelling career cannot hack it, what sort of message does that send to the younger ones. Now it is 20 and 21-year olds that are going down that route.

I hear words like ‘love failure’ too often these days. Maybe it is cynical of me, but I cannot help thinking ’so what?’ Your own life should be worth more than the so-called love of the person who jilts you, shouldn’t it? Who knows, one might be well off not being with such a person - a few tears now is better than a life sentence, surely.

At times like this, I think the Western concept of casual dating is a good one. You date a couple of guys (or girls) - hang out, go out to dinner, disco and if you aren’t compatible, then break it off and get on with your lives. The desi concept of dating, wherein if you go out with a person, then they are ‘it’ might not be such a great thing, especially if the bloke turns out to be a cad.

The problem with this idea though, is the mentality of certain young men out there. If a girl has a couple of boyfriends, then she is considered ‘loose’, as in, morally (not mental!). I have seen loads of guys who ‘road-test’ by dating a few girls before settling down with a proper girl as chosen by their mums. Aren’t they loose as well? But we all know it is predominantly a man’s world out there, don’t we? So what is the solution then?

I feel that dating shouldn’t be a taboo concept any longer. I know times are a’changing and we see loads of couples hanging out in the metros these days but in Chennai, it isn’t as prevalent as it maybe in other places. No more ‘chup chup ke’ stuff please. Going out with a girl / guy isn’t exactly something to be ashamed of, is it?

More importantly, it isn’t like the end of the world if you are jilted, thought it might feel so at that moment. Finally, here is my plea to the young ‘uns out there - please love yourself a bit more than you love your ‘beloved’. It just might save your life!

Can also be found at Desicritics